So I finally visited Cleveland with my brother and a couple of good friends. Only one of my friends has been to Cleveland a couple of times, so for most of us it was a new experience. After freeing ourselves the burden of our meddling car in a garage near the Palace Theatre, where my brother and I watched the Kids in the Hall later that evening (they were fantastic), we went off on a tour of the city. First, we stopped right off at Moko’s (on the left) and got some drinks before heading off for lunch.


My brother being smitten by Cleveland.

Internet lingo on a trashcan Downtown? Well, I like it.

We all agree, Downtown Cleveland is big and has good architecture all over with a great big-city feel that you just don’t get here. Plentiful parking lots might have something to do with that. Cleveland’s Downtown is legit and they have rail transportation, solidifying its status as the big city of Ohio.





Apparently, there’s going to be major touch-ups to the interior.

Going to Ohio City by rail was easy, but getting the all-day passes weren’t. Cleveland felt like messing with our heads in each neighborhood and this was the first instance. I put in a 20 for a day pass and it did give a pass, but then spat out 16 Sacajuweas, so I just put them in for more tickets, but what the hell!? They just come right back out! Oh I see, it accepts quarters, not the coins they give you. OK, so just go to the change machine and put in the 48 quarters for the other 3, right? Wrong! It only accepted about one out of every three. WTF!!! Argh, it’s the Cleveland Crucifixion! So after what seemed like 10 minutes we just bought them at the counter. Lesson? Never use those awful machines.
Ohio City, from our brief visit, seemed trendy with a dash of Hippy/New Age stores. We were starving at this point, but I wanted to peek my head in the Westside Market,

and we walked through the corridor outside the main building. My friends said that they felt like they were in a 3rd world country, not ‘Murica, with the masses of people crammed in there. They were in no mood for browsing, they wanted a god-damned restaurant, so we walked towards this extremely inviting street.


Great Lakes was looking pretty packed, so we headed into the Flying Fig (I thought at first it was the Flying Pig).


The decor looked like lunch might be pricey. It was happy hour, so we got some beer and food, only $5 for a blue cheese burger with fries. I got cute and tried the pulled pork nachos, which while tasty wasn’t as large a portion as the burger everyone else went with. It looked like rain was threatening to come down, but luckily the previous forecast of clouds with rain showers didn’t pan out at all that day. More Ohio City:




Spacious parking

So it was back to the market to pick up dessert

and we found quite bit we liked, but the portions for a couple of items were extremely deceptive, in fact, when that napoleon was in the case one would have thought there were three on top of each other. It was of monstrous proportions. That alone would’ve been enough for all of us.

We tried our damnedest to eat all these desserts and not waste any money/food, but they proved to be too much for us and we were utterly defeated and we all ended up feeling disgusting.

Just checking to make sure my stomach is still intact.

At least the view couldn’t be beat.

Desperately needing to walk that off, we headed to Shaker Square to walk around and grab a drink.


Stopped in at Yours Truly, which has a truly awful interior (I’m not sure what they’re going for, the interior of your grandparents’ home?) we got some limeades which kept us hydrated and ordered a few items knowing that the server probably would be a bit miffed if we just got drinks. It was cool watching the trains go by the window.

Cleveland gets an enthusiastic thumbs up (no, really, he likes).

And as you can see I’m loving Cleveland.

After getting even fatter, but less thirsty we walked down a couple of residential streets impressed by the density and quality of the buildings.




Further down are streets lined with cute single-family homes.

I’m embarrassed for poor Patty.

Thirsty again, we headed to Dewey’s to relax for a bit. My iced coffee and espresso drink was tasty, but my companions were not pleased with their wild-berry drinks. Laundry detergent was used to describe the flavor of the smoothie. After tasting it, I was glad I went with what I did while they just drank it down because it was something cold. It was time to head to the show and since my friends weren’t going we split ways for a bit and they headed out to the Flats in the meantime. More Downtown!


Ooh, bowling Downtown.



After the show (forgot to zoom in the heat of the moment),

my brother and I headed to the Flats to meet up with our friends, while he bitched about how they should’ve headed back to meet us and leave. We went over anyway and got off at the Flats East Banks. There was a map, but it was useless, unless you wanted to go to a museum. No bars & restaurants listed at all, seriously? Very user-unfriendly stops, my brother said he’d be pissed if we got mugged. I called my friends three times to find out exactly where they were and they actually got off at the Settler’s Landing stop just before the one we did. After walking down a lonely street with the only street life being a group of security guys hanging out in front of a nightclub and a lone woman walking down the street, my brother was getting antsy thinking we were getting lost. Once we got to the Settler’s Landing stop, we walked under the large, lonely bridge hoping for a sign of civilization and then the glowing, green letters reading “The Flat Iron” couldn’t have appeared at a better moment. Relieved and hungry again, we hung out and watched TV there. They make their own root beer, so that was a must. (Note the lazy photoshopping)

It was then time to catch a train back to Tower City, but we were waiting for ten minutes or so. We were all alone, so it didn’t take long for some shenanigans to take place.



We stopped waiting, since Phil kept insisting that we just walk it, it can’t be that far. 5 minutes later, we were approaching Tower City. We were outraged at ourselves over how short of a walk it was. Why were we waiting for a train again? After being asked for the 10th time if we had some change, we made it to the parking garage. So long for now Cleveland!

So what can we learn from Cleveland? Get rail already! I didn’t have to drive around looking at a map, search for parking, and then have to pay for it. I left the car in a garage across from the theatre for $10 the whole day. You hop on the train and it just takes you to destinations. If we want more visitors/tourists to see what we have to offer, I can’t think of a better way than rail. Instead of seeking out what the city has it brings the city to you. That’s the best way I can think of explaining it. Cleveland’s rail line is separated, unlike our still proposed *sigh* streetcar. Keep in mind that Cleveland’s urban core is a good deal larger, whereas ours is smaller and so streetcars make sense. As for light-rail in Columbus, I have the perfect routes for that; see the blue lines inside of 270 in this map.
